The End.... is Often Just the Beginning in Disguise

You may have noticed the lack of a certain person in my blog and pictures as of late. And as those of you on Facebook have noticed,  my status has changed to single. I know people are going to wonder and gossip and I want the truth told in as few words as possible so as not to publicly humiliate or make it look like I am trying to be vindictive. I have had so many ask where my husband is, that is makes it uncomfortable for me and for them. Remember how I said I have been going through a really hard time lately? Well, truth is my marriage has ended because my spouse has struggled with fidelity issues for quite some time which has ultimately led him to choosing others over me and not wanting to be married to me anymore. Which left me with no option but to end our marriage. Let me tell you, this has been the hardest trial of my life. Much harder than going through cancer.

Sometimes life sucks. Like really sucks. And there's nothing you can do it about but just square up your shoulders and press on. Like I said in the title of this post....the end of something good is often the beginning of something great. I would not be able to handle my life if it wasn't for my faith in God. I don't share my testimony very often, but in this case, I really have to. I know that I'm going to be okay. I know without a doubt that my God has something incredible in store for me. Something so great I can't even comprehend it. I know that He wants me to be happy even more than I want myself to be happy. I don't know why I've had to experience the trials I've been given. With cancer the blessings were often immediate and easy to see. With this, the blessings are still in hiding :) But I do have faith that when I'm 95, on a long run on a beautiful morning, I will look back on my life and be so grateful that things turned out the way they did. For a while I decided that happy endings were a myth, a lie people have made up. But its not true. I still believe in Happily Ever After. I believe in Happily Ever Now. I don't have to wait for the future to be happy. I can be, and I am, happy right now. Believe me, I have hard days. But I have more good days than hard days. I will always be a fighter, I will never give up.

Life can try to swallow me up, but like this awesome little frog, I'll choke it's neck until it spits me back out again :) Haha.

Put your shoulder to the wheel......push along, with a heart full of song. It'd be stupid to give up. To give in to sadness and let life pass me by? That'd be such a waste of a great life! President Thomas S. Monson, prophet of the LDS church, said, "The future is as bright as your faith". Man are those words true. I have faith. I need faith. You can't always see what lies ahead of you. Sometimes that is really hard. But God can, and He knows how much joy the future will bring me. I definitely trust Him. He knows what he's doing.

So I've buckled up, grabbed my safety goggles, put my helmet on and I'm ready for the ride. There are so many opportunities out there for me now that I never could have had before. I am so young. I have my whole life ahead of me. And I want to do great things. On my bucket list is the item "Do something really great". I'm trying to accomplish that. When I wrote it on my list I was imagining something big and flashy like saving a life or going to a foreign country and building a school or something. But I've learned over the past year that the greatest people are the ones who live their life doing simple things every day that help people. Being great isn't one big huge act. It's living every day in a way that blesses others.

Today is the day I have been given. Yesterday is over. And you never know if you will be given tomorrow. So I'm choosing to make today the best I can. Sometimes I fail :) But I have an incredible family, awesome friends, and an amazing ward family that stands by my side. There have been things about this whole situation that have been harder than others. But when it comes down to it I have to remind myself that it doesn't matter what anyone in this world thinks of me, it really only matters what God thinks of me. And if I feel that He is okay with me, then I know I'm alright.

"Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God." Ether 12:4, Book of Mormon

This quote is perfect, since I just celebrated my "Michael Jordan" birthday :)

I know when I've told people what's going on they get super awkward and don't know what to say or how to act or what to do. Honestly, you can say whatever you want. If you want to bring it up and ask me how I'm doing that is just fine. If you'd rather ignore it and talk about other things in life, that is fine too. Mostly I just need people to hug me and tell me they're sorry for me and let me know its going to be okay.